Valentine’s Day 1979
by Jane Cantillon
It was Valentines Day 1979 at Frederick's of Hollywood.
Gini loved working at the legendary store, and didn’t care about the dirty shadow of the boulevard, a tragic has-been offering nothing but wig shops, pimps, whores and underwear stores. Even the tourists had fled, which made Frederick's of Hollywood a safe place for celebrities to duck into.
Just the other day, Rock Hudson came in with some friends and screeched their way through the men's tasseled rainbow G strings, while lightly touching the pleather and studded man sacks.
Gini found it thrilling when Dolly Parton had recently shopped with her assistant and was buying the superstar the sexy bras and panties. Though Dolly’s gigantic buttery wig was featured in the window display, that day she wore a concealing hat and two rather thin braids, all while sharing a small dressing room with her assistant, Judy.
Today Gini was waiting for her roommate Kevin to arrive at the store exactly at 1:25 PM when the security guard took his lunch break.
He would come in wearing his baggy jeans and his too big Fonzie leather jacket. She would take him into the dressing room and put lacy push-up bra after bra on him, crotchless panties, Mylar G strings with gizmos and vinyl neon butt plugs and cobalt blue velvet panties that said “Eat Me.” Sequence hearts, chains and pasties all layered on his chest and crotch, and finally, lots of cherry edible undies were shoved into his pockets. Then, his bulging body slipped out of the lavender deco building unnoticed.
Back at the apartment, after a couple of bong hits, Kevin would rip the edible undies open, spread a little sugar and peanut butter on, fold it and begin to chew away at the gelatin panty sandwich. Then for dessert, he would munch down the cherry red licorice strings and straps. “Good eatin’,” he would think as he washed it down with a Budweiser. Kevin would be glad that he helped Gini get new underwear and presents for their friends on Valentine's Day. As for him, after he paid his rent, bought his pot and beer, he barely had enough money for food so the edible undies really came in handy.
Another bong hit later, and he would laugh at the thought of people actually wearing them.
©2014 Jane Cantillon